Not a Big Truck

The ongoing piracy saga off the Somalian coast fascinates me.  I am sure the newspaper industry is loving it — how often in the 21st century do they get to write stories about pirates?  Even though piracy is a serious problem in the region, and though everyone of course is concerned for the welfare of the merchant ship captain who is being held hostage on the lifeboat, I can’t help feeling that the whole situation is oddly comical.  Multiple U.S. Navy warships are surrounding this tiny lifeboat that has no fuel, three pirates and the captured captain.

The pirates have to know that they are basically out of options.  The U.S. Navy is not going to let them go anywhere and is not going to allow them to bring in reinforcements.  On the other hand, the U.S. Navy also doesn’t seem to have options other than trying to talk to the pirates and hoping they give in.

My solution: Sink ‘em!  Put some Navy SEALS with scuba gear in the water, send them down to fifty feet or so, and have them swim the few hundred yards over to the lifeboat.  They can come up underneath the boat and drill holes or otherwise do something that will cause it to sink.  This would be a minimal risk to the men carrying out the operation, as bullets do not travel well through water (Mythbusters did an episode about this, and it only takes a few feet of water, if that, for bullets to lose their penetrating power).  And, once the pirates’ boat has sunk and they are in the water, they will be forced to surrender to the U.S. Navy.

You probably have enough gold medals by now to forge them into a really shiny bong.  Just an idea.

Even though I picked Missouri to advance to the Sweet 16, I was disappointed to see Marquette lose to them in the way they did.  A Missouri player made two free throws to put his team up by 2 with five seconds remaining.  Marquette was inbounding the ball for a chance to tie the game or win it outright at the end of regulation.  And what did the Marquette inbounder, Lazar Hayward, do?  Running side to side along the baseline, he carelessly stepped in bounds with his right foot while he was still holding the ball.  Violation.  Possession to Missouri.  Game over.

What a dumb and careless play, a la Chris Webber’s phantom timeout call in the 1993 national championship.  Nevertheless I felt bad for the Marquette player; hopefully he won’t be a pariah among his teammates or back on campus.

Why can’t Chris Matthews pronounce Keith Olbermann’s name correctly?  He leaves out the “L” every time.  “Countdown with Keith OBERMANN starts right now.”  It’s not that hard…

It’s about time.  He was 57-55 in his entire tenure there, 22-26 in the last three years, and only won the Super Bowl during his first season there thanks to (1) Monte Kiffin coaching the defense and (2) the core of great players assembled by Tony Dungy during his years there.

I think he’s an overrated coach, but he’ll probably have a chance to coach in the NFL again someday.

Take five and a half minutes right now, and watch this video clip.

It is the opening of the first episode of the PBS documentary “Carrier” that aired in April and May 2008.  The series follows the crew of the USS Nimitz, one of America’s ten nuclear-powered aircraft carriers, on its six-month deployment to the Persian Gulf in 2005.  “Carrier” is unlike any other program of its kind for the depth of its access (the filmmakers were virtually granted free rein aboard ship and shot 1600 hours over the course of the deployment, and eventually whittled that down to 10 one-hour episodes), and for its focus, rather than on the technological marvel of the carrier itself, on the crew and their remarkable stories in all their diversity.  Their honesty is refreshing — this isn’t propaganda, one way or the other.  There’s no voice-over narration; instead, all of the speaking comes from the crewmembers themselves.

The documentary won multiple Emmys, and deservedly so.  I got hooked and watched all ten episodes of it via Netflix’s internet streaming service last weekend and at the beginning of this week.  You can also watch it online from the PBS website.

Seriously, check it out.  I have already recommended “Carrier” to another friend, who is in the process of watching and loves it.

Apple is removing DRM protections from all songs sold through iTunes.

In the AFC wild card game, the San Diego Chargers just beat the Indianapolis Colts in overtime, 23-17.  Several aspects of this game are utter bullshit.

1. That the Chargers got into the playoffs in the first place is absurd.  The Chargers made the playoffs despite having a record of 8-8 when the New England Patriots, also in the AFC, did not get in with their record of 11-5.  Why should the fact that the Chargers won their division (the AFC West, arguably the worst one in football) outweigh the fact that the Patriots had a dramatically better regular-season record?
2. In a similar vein, it is ridiculous that the Chargers hosted the playoff game against the Colts.  Why should the Chargers’ division title be so important?  The Colts were 12-4, for crying out loud.  It makes no sense at all that a 12-4 team (which finished second in its division only because of the bad luck that the best team in football this year, the Tennessee Titans, happened to be in the same division) did not host the game against an 8-8 team — a team without a winning record!!!  In a game that proved to be so close, home field advantage may well have been the deciding factor.
3. The NFL overtime rules are garbage.  The NFL needs to adopt the college overtime system.  In the NFL, the team that wins the coin flip to start overtime wins 60% of the time because they choose to take the ball first, and that is a huge advantage in a sudden-death system.  The Chargers got lucky and won the coin toss.  Peyton Manning, the NFL MVP and surefire future Hall of Fame quarterback, never even had the chance to get on the field in overtime to win the game for his team.  Bullshit!!!

Lesley Stahl just interviewed Barney Frank on 60 Minutes.  This snippet of their conversation was hilarious and really thoughtful at the same time.

LESLEY STAHL: I’ve heard someone describe you this way: you’re a liberal on social issues; you’re a pragmatist on economic issues.

BARNEY FRANK: No, I reject the notion that there is — you’re talking about two different things. That’s like saying, are you more of a cook or are you left-handed? I am a liberal. What I’m rejecting is this liberal here, pragmatist there. That’s like comparing Tuesday to ice cream. As a liberal, I am morally obligated to be pragmatic. What good do I do poor people, elderly people, people who are being discriminated against because of sexual orientation, if I am not being realistic about accomplishing something?

If you can find video of this clip, let me know and I’ll post it here.

Nuggets like this are why I love The New Yorker:

America used to be full of odd beers.  In 1873, the country had some four thousand breweries, working in dozens of regional and ethnic styles.  Brooklyn alone had nearly fifty.  Beer was not only refreshing but nutritious, it was said — a “valuable substitute for vegetables,” as a member of the United States Sanitary Commission put it during the Civil War.

Read the whole article here.